A Stupid Basketball Game

     Usually, I don't go to basketball games, mostly because I'm too lazy to leave my house. But last night was Senior Night, so I said what the hell and went. When I walked into the gym, there was hardly anyone there, except for a couple of the basketball players and few people from school. As I was taking my seat, one of the players actually tried to talk to me. He tried to be a smartass by saying, "Wow, look who actually showed up to game", but he's a dumbshit, so it sounded a lot less articulate than that. So instead of responding, I left the wannabe ghetto kid listening to his rap music and went to find a seat. There were a few people in the stands, so, like the socially awkward person I am, I chose the spot farthest away from human contact. It was going good for a while until a girl from my class showed up and sat down a few feet from me. Rather than ignoring my presence like most people, she actually turned my way and asked me where my friends were. At that point, I was about to piss myself. I hid my anxiety well, though, because I only sounded mildly retarded when I told her they were at Dunkin Donuts. She then nodded, and then an awkward silence ensued. This lasted for a good five minutes before my fatass friends stopped being fatties and showed up at the game. Then the game started, and I was content just sitting next to my friends, avoiding all conversations possible. After a while, Mr. Pale Kid showed up in his trademark skinny jeans, and started telling us about his new girlfriend, who was a hand-me-down from my other friend. To my horror, he pulled out his phone and started showing us pictures of his girlfriend making the ugliest faces imaginable. I wanted to scream at him and tell him that she looks like a crazy bitch, but I kept my mouth shut and attempted to ignore him. After the game, I was about to leave until one of my little cousins showed up and attached herself to me face, saying goodbye to me at the top of her shrill lungs. Eventually, her father pried her off of my face, and told me that she was my biggest fan. Another one of my friends overheard this, and said something along the lines of, "How can she be your biggest fan when you don't do anything?" And to give a point of reference, this was the same guy who had earlier called a thirteen year old girl a slut. So as you can tell, this dick's got some real class. So by the time the game was over, he was asking for someone to kick his skinny white ass. That's when I said "Yeah, well I do your mom." I know, the joke is overused and and all that shit, but I could have made it better. I was going to say that I do it all night long, while your dad watches. But most of the time, the guy's not a complete douchebag, so I spared him a little pain. He was so shocked that I actually said something back to him that I think he might have shit his pants. I'll never know if he did, because I left right after that, so I could go back to being a lazy sonabitch.

P.S. I don't necessarily hate everyone described in this blog. So if you think you might be the person being described, it sucks to be you. Nothing personal, though.

-The Other Guy