When Friends Freak Out

     On Saturday, I got invited to go over to my friends house. Usually, I show up an hour or so late, which seems to really piss people off. But that day, I decided to show up on time, just to mix things up. When I arrived, I think I surprised everyone in the room. Hell, I even surprised myself. So instead of being greeted with, "Hey, look, it's f***tard", I got a few confused looks. Satisfied with the fact that I avoided a verbal raping, I went to go sit down on the couch. For a while, we just sat there sat there doing absolutely nothing, until I realized we were waiting for some shithead to get his head out of his ass and show up. Then, after a few more moments, I was told that we were waiting for Mr. Skinny Jeans himself. Personally, I have nothing against the guy. Sure, he made us wait a damn long time for him, but I do that all the time. No big deal. But he did do something that pissed off the entire room. Rather than telling us he had somewhere to be, he just flat out ignored us. The asshole didn't even answer a single text or call. At least when I don't answer for hours, I have the courtesy to tell my friends some plausible excuse. Skinny Jeans didn't do that, though. Nobody had a clue where his ass was, until one of my friends got an idea. He thought that Skinny Jeans might be ditching us for his new girlfriend, so he texted her to find out. Turns out, Pale Kid was with his girlfriend, and was apparently too embarrassed to admit to us that he was going out on a date with her. When my friends heard about this, they started flipping shit. If he would have walked into the room at that moment, someone would have probably chopped off his dick, right then and there. That's how pissed they were. On the other hand, I wasn't that mad at him. Then I learned that he was taking his girlfriend out to McDonald's. He ditched hanging out with us to fatten his girlfriend up. I mean, come on. I could understand Olive Garden or Red Lobster. I could even understand a quick stop at Wendy's. But for God's sake, why did he skip out on us to sit and eat in a place that smells of fat people and desperation? I suppose I should have been pissed like my friends were, but I just found the whole situation f***ing disappointing  And after everyone was done bitching, we decided to go downstairs, where nothing much happened until another friend showed up. We started taking turns playing an older Call Of Duty, which was a bad idea.Whenever we play, he rapes all of us. Every. Single. Time. There's no escaping it. At this point, we all just accept it. This day was different, though. For some odd reason, I was killing him left and right. I was laughing my ass off the whole time, but the other guy wasn't. He looked at me in the way a sexual predator stares down an unsuspecting child. Shit just got real. Every time I killed him, he would stand up and try to punch me in the balls. Not only that, but he would scream and bitch about how I was only good because "I was too poor to afford the newest game". Despite the verbal abuse, I managed to end the game in a tie. Kurtman, as my friends called him, couldn't stand this. He demanded a rematch, one on one, which I accepted. I thought I could actually win. But I got raped. Hard. And Kurtman regained his former position of jackass, calling me his bitch and other shit that I can't remember. But that's expected out of him, so I just let it slide.

-The Other Editor