The "Oh Shit!" Moment

     Have you ever reached that part of the day where your mind just shuts off on you? You know, when the most productive thing you can do is mutter, "Oh shit" a thousand times? If that has not happened to you, then you're one fucking lucky person, because it is the number one cause for making people like me not get work done. If it has happened to you, though, then I completely sympathize with you. Nobody should ever have to experience that kind of mental breakdown, especially one that happens almost every damn day. But there is hope for those of us who have to suffer through shit like that constantly.
     If I have learned one thing, it is this; don't fight it. Just say, "Fuck this shit" and give up. Drop whatever you're doing and go the hell to sleep. If you happen to be in a office or at school, then go to the bathroom and take a power nap on the shitter. Nobody will bother you there, unless they're that one creepy bastard everybody knows. Then you're probably screwed. But if you decide to take this route, set a timer on your phone before you're out cold. If you wake up an hour later, then your massive shit might be the number one gossip of the day. And that will take you ages to live down.
     "What about if I have no chance to sleep?" you may ask. Well, if that's the case, then get creative. There is always a way if you are desperate enough. If you're at school, tell the teacher that you have explosive diarrhea, and that you're going to shit all over the floor unless you find a toilet. Or if you happen to be at work, tell your boss that your uncle just got into a horrible car accident, and that you need to go to the hospital right away. Then get in your car, drive home, and take a much needed nap. But the last method should be used with caution, as you might get fired if you are not one hell of a liar.
     But when all those fail, then I'm sorry, because I'm out of ideas. I just hope that I can make your "Oh shit" moment just a little less shittier.

-The Co-Editor