Don't Wake Me Up

     Today was pretty uneventful, even by my standards. I didn't have school, so I didn't even plan on leaving my house at all. See, it's kind of hard for me to make plans when I don't have a social life. And it's kinda hard to have a social life when I shit my pants every time someone tries to start a conversation with me. So I was left with only one option, which was to stay in my house all day. Most of the time I'm fine with this, because I'm a lazy asshole. But one little thing went wrong today. My morning was going fine, until I was woken up at ten o'clock in the morning. And that pissed me off. They might as well have taken a shit on my face, because that would have made me less pissed. But I was too tired to actually tell them how angry I was, so I ended up grunting like orgasming orangutan. That didn't make them leave, though. In fact, they tried to wake me up again. That pissed me off even more. So this time, I rolled over to my side, which is basically a metaphorical middle finger. Apparently they did't get the message, because they tried a third time. And that REALLY pissed me off. So I looked them dead in the eye and was about to say what was on my mind, which was, "Get the hell out of my room you little f****er before I shove a f***ing baseball bat up your fat ass!". Fortunately for them, I could barely speak at the moment, so I mumbled some bullshit they wanted to hear until they left. It's not like I hate my family, though. I just really hate it when some douchebag actually gets the bright idea to wake me up on my day off. Not that my family members are douchebags, though. Sure, sometimes they're assholes, other times they're bitches, and on occasions they act like faggots, but I would never call them douchebags. That's just crossing the line. So that's why I don't speak my mind to them, because if I did, I would be labeled "Biggest Dickhead" forever. And I don't intend on that happening, cause I'm stuck with these people for another two years. So instead, I just suck it up and go back to sleep for another damn hour.

-The Other Guy